9 Acceptance
“Can’t we all just get along?”
Rodney King
Symbols & Colors
- The Star: Symbol of the Sage Set
- Target and Bull’s eye: Symbol of the Goal Group
- Pharaoh: Exalted Cluster
- Diamond: Expression Axis
- Color: Blue, 5th Chakra,
Implications of the Upright Position or Positive Pole
There is a sweetness in Acceptance. The two little girls are sharing a moment of togetherness and cooperation. Here, along with its counterpart, the Attitude of the Idealist, they are symbolically turning life’s lemons into lemonade. Acceptance is the first phase of forming community. The first stage of
community begins with the simple act of kindness.
Card messages in the Illuminated position.
+ Affiliation
(Agape, Inclusive, Wise, Guileless, Kind, Affable, Mutuality, Accord, Allowing)
- Praise trains an animal more effectively than pain. This applies to children as well. Inner Child too! Kindness and firmness can go together.
- Freud said, “A man should not strive to eliminate his complexes but to get into accord with them: they are legitimately what direct him in the world.”
- If you operate from Acceptance, you often feel the need to make peace. Smoothing disagreements makes wonderful progress.
- Agape is to be in total accord and releasing all judgment and loving without condition. Are you accepting yourself? Who else might need your acceptance?
- Accepting conditions as they are is the way to maintain balance when circumstances are not to your liking. It does not mean giving up or giving in, just giving it another try.
- Sharing Agape does not mean you resign yourself to the situation nor does it mean you forgive bad behavior. Dissolve the power of vexing complications by accepting them as-is and move through, over, or around them.
- Who and what you include is a function of acceptance. Allowing things to be as they are does not mean you reject your preferences. You just do not make your opinions requirements.
- Affiliating, even with those you do not like, goes a long way to smooth differences and make peace.
- Likability is a trait often desired in people. If genuine, the warmth and pleasing nature of such a person is a true asset.
- A kind person is categorize by some as guileless. Others might condemn them as something less complimentary. Your choice to show loving-kindness instead of denigration is a mark of humanity we need more of. It might be difficult to drop the angst but when you do, we all benefit from it. Share yourself inspire of how others are acting.
- Friendship is the act of allowing the person to be who they are without having the need to change or reject them.
Quotes relating this sentiment…
- “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Carl Rogers
- “A true man never frets about his place in the world, but just slides into it by the gravitation of his nature, and swings there as easily as a star.” Edwin Hubbel Chaplin
- “Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there’s all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish between what can and what cannot be helped; acceptance makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens.” Arthur Gordon
- “Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you’re going to do about it.” Kathleen Casey Theisen
- “Be willing to have it so; acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” William James, American Psychologist
- “Acceptance is the great healer of strife, conflict, and upset. It also corrects major imbalances of perception and precludes the dominance of negative feelings…Acceptance is not passivity but non-positionality. David Hawkins – Author – Power vs. Force
Implications in the Reversed Position or Negative Pole
Shadow Position: Open wide! Consider the poor dentist, trying to distract as you undergo an experience many would consider unbearable. Try as they might to make the patient feel comfortable by being cheerful, their occupation suffers from some of the highest levels of stress in any profession. When someone is trying to Ingratiate, they are afraid to raise your ire, fear, or create bad will; or they may want something from you, that only making nice, or “kissing ass” might achieve. These are the ‘yes men’ where the idea of being positive is actually a negative. A great equalizer in many respects because it can be passive, acquiescing, agreeable, and have a desire to please such that it tends to shun or back down from conflict whenever possible. The “people pleaser” or “enabler” or “suck-up” or “yes-man” all live under the negative pole of Ingratiation.
Card messages in the Shadow position.
+ Ingratiation
(Nice, flattery, fawning, agreeable, acquiescing, insincere, smarmy, unctuous, placating, hypocrisy,)
- Confront difficulty by accepting the truth…even if you don’t want to hear it!
- Resigned to a situation? You think this is Acceptance? Not a chance! You’ve caved in on some dream or principle in order to ingratiate with a crowd that you believe might take care of you.
- Are you stuck brown-nosing in fear of losing? How can somebody help you if they don’t know who you honestly are?
- Acceptance does not mean tolerating bad behavior. Who is afraid to call it out?
- If it got any thicker, you’d have to use a knife to cut through the BS. Put a stop to the smarmy fawning. Whoever is using this tactic doesn’t think enough of themselves to ask outright. Clear the air now. Everyone is equal here, but someone is pretending they are not.
- Flattery is the tool of the phony salesman. Suck-ups and yes-men ingratiate themselves to seek favor because they want something from you. They are afraid that people might not like what they genuinely have to offer. Is there a people-pleaser in your midst? Watch your back.
- “Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there’s all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish between what can and what cannot be helped; acceptance makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens.” Arthur Gordon
- “If you live life for people’s acceptance, you will die from their rejection.” LeCrae Monroe. Rejection by some is inevitable. Usually, it has to do with something about them, rather than you. It is always useful to account for the 20% they might cite as your deficit, and you might feel bad about it if the feedback rings true. But, What or Why do you want their approval for, anyway? You can gain from negative as well as positive feedback, if you know what it is you are seeking.
- Goodness gracious, can you stand up for yourself? Even if you ruffle some feathers, there is no reason to stay quiet in the name of being nice.
Quotes relating this sentiment…
- “To understand is hard. Once you understand it is easy.” Sun Yat-Sen
- “The manager accepts the status quo; the leader challenges it.” Warren Bennis
- “Men who cannot conceive a happiness of their own accept a definition imposed upon them by others.” Earl Shorris
- “Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts of a situation, then deciding what you’re going to do about it.” Kathleen Casey Theisen.
Relevance within the Michael Teaching
As the Sage Goal, Acceptance orientation is jovial, inclusive, and desirous for a large group to teach, or simply be an audience. The Exalted/Expressive Goal is the 2nd most taken by humans at 30% of the population, trailing only Growth, which is 40%. These qualities move a person into the direction of learning to be open and even accommodating to others, yet it does not readily mean that the person will be bold, excessive or extraverted.
Acceptance has a two fold purpose regarding why a person might chose it: one internal motive and another interactive motive. The first is an attempt to resolve an inner struggle allowing the cessation of some painful belief or life circumstance. The other is a strategic approach to finding accord with others in hopes of finding more common ground with another. Affiliation is forming bonds, not so much for alliance, but for mutual recognition, and perhaps even support. However, when a person is in this positive pole, they may have reached an emotional aplomb that may contrast greatly from the drama that surrounds them at any given moment. If you think about it, acceptance requires that you drop resistance to what is. It does not require you to approve of something disagreeable or distasteful. In actively rejecting something, one is polarized by it and to it. Jesus of Nazareth modeled the positive pole of acceptance more completely than any other person.
Accord in affiliation with others but also the circumstances one encounters in life are essential to this Expressive Goal. Essences choose this approach to life as a means of coming to terms with something or someone that has cause it confusion or pain or to whom it might owe Karma. A great equalizer in many respects because it can be passive, acquiescing, agreeable, and have a desire to please such that it tends to shun or back down from conflict whenever possible. However, when a person is in this pole they may have reached an emotional aplomb from which they may contrast greatly from the drama that surrounds them at any given moment.
But the “people pleaser” or “enabler” or “suck-up” or “yes-man” all live under the negative pole of Ingratiation. Fearing that their native way of being will either offend another and thus is somehow not sufficient in its own right, the Acceptor in this pole becomes a phony. A pretender that will always want to make things seem alright and not scare anybody away. The person in Acceptance hates being isolated, or disconnected from others even when that connection is emotionally abuse, spiritually toxic, intellectually stifling and causes the person to forego their own integrity for the company of others.
Over a quarter of the worlds population have this Goal and do so for a variety of Essence agendas. Inherently about communicating warmth, inclusion, and a willingness to allow rather than shun; Acceptance strives to feel the very gift which it Expresses in its nature: namely, AGAPE (pronounced ah-gah-pay) Which is derives from the Greek concept for Unconditional brotherly love – or that which is granted by the Gods themselves.
To gain acceptance is a high achievement. Coupled with other supportive Overleaves, it might serve to bring a person a kind of peace because struggling against what is, is simply a waste of energy.
Famous Examples
Jesus of Nazareth, (Christ was a title not a name!) His Holiness the XIV Dahlia Lama, President John Kennedy, Dolly Parton, Jay Leno, George W. Bush, Hugh Jackman, John Muir, Sally Fields, Courtney Cox, Ben Affleck,
Cultural Relevance
Almost all religious institutions claim the mantle of Acceptance as a canon of their faith. Doctrine and practice however will tend to slide to the side of Discrimination listing the exceptions or exemptions to the general principle. Acceptance allows engagement in life on life’s own terms, without trying to make it conform to an agenda.
Acceptance might be your Goal if…
- I try not to judge anyone because I hate to be judged.
- Criticism hurts me greatly.
- When people get angry I might be quiet or try to intervene and be peacemaker.
- Nothing feels as good as being liked.
- People call me a “suck-up” or a people pleaser because I want approval from others.
- It is hard to make a decision when I am the only one who believes my position.
- I’d rather not rock the boat just be safely in it.
- I try to adapt to the people or circumstances with which I find myself.
- I’d rather say something nice and lie, than deliver a harsh truth.
- Does having a disagreement feel extremely risky and uncomfortable?