Relationship Support Positions

Acquiring Support to shape a Healthy Self

Introduction and Discussion about Support

The term support, as applied to a person, is a relatively recent event of the latter half of the 20th Century. Whereas once we would refer to those who assisted us as “help” the idea of support really expands the definition to include a consideration of the integrity of our human structure. Structural support, and therefore health, can be understood as a unique combination of elements with which a person can either feel whole; or when these elements are absent, experience that they are missing something in life.

Support from others can nourish us in body, mind, spirit and emotions. Nourishment such as food and environmental factors like decent air and water provide the means by which Essence may exist in a body. But the body holds a Personality, and thus requires relationships. The Support Circle describes some of the key relationship types that one needs to feel truly cared for by others. However, it is still possible, though not likely, that a person with poor self-esteem might actually have these key persons in their lives, but not experience all of the vitality or potency of life that is available from them. A lack of self love, is one of the primary reason that a person doesn’t believe they deserve, and therefore fails to utilize or acquire support.

In the Michael Teaching, these vital associations have been defined by category and function. They are listed below. When involved in a channeling session, the Michael Channel might reference one or more of these positions relative to people in your life. On the other hand, it could be pointed out that you have either a lack of a given support type in your life, or you fail to use them. By way of comment, Michael’s teachings depart from the “I can do it all” mentality of the Young Soul paradigm and brings into sharp relief that the only way to truly fulfill ones whole potential is within the constellation of other people. Instead of the overachievers’ context of “on my own”; Michael would say, “on your own, but not alone.”

Dividing Support into Groupings

• Group  1 – Intimate = Love, Knowledge, Compassion (Self Esteem)
• Group 2 – Worldly = Mentor, Anchor, Discipline (Competence & Success)
• Group 3 – Spiritual = Humor, Muse, Enlightenment (Wisdom and Expansion)
• Group 4 – Karmic = Child, Beauty, Healer (Parent) – (Challenges and Impediments)

Living persons primarily who you know fill these positions, but not in all cases. Beauty and Muse, for instance,  may be occupied by a deceased person such as an inspirational historical figure or a master of a given art form whom you wish to emulate.

Persons who fill a specific type of support function is generally someone you have a long (past life) history with. Often members of your own Entity or Cadre that you have natural affinity for the unique flavor or type of assistance. However, it is incumbent upon an individual to recognize, receive, and utilize support in his/her world.  One might also use these positions as a diagnostic or assessment tool.

Exercise: Create a simple chart with each of these headings. Then review the people you have in your life (if you have few friends that too will be an indicator). Notice the type of function they seem to fill? It is possible for one individual to hold more than one position.

(Special Note: It should be mentioned that the single key reason that many marriages fail is due to the impossible expectation embedded within the concept of matrimony itself, that a spouse can fulfill all of the support positions for the other.)

Power: You are the center of the Soloverse©. As the only individual that you truly have first hand experience of, you are the “decision maker” of your life. Fulfillment of your destiny is only capable of happening when and if you have other people in your life to assist you. A lifetime is the vehicle through which one gets to exercise or abdicate their power to choose. Ultimately, it is about you!

Love: This person is the one with whom you learn and experience the greatest sense of love. Since the word love has so many variations in the English language, it is the deepest aspects of love: trust, affection, a recognition of whom you, are they acceptance you. This relationship in no way has to be romantic or even familial. Ego, (false personality) might desire it to be a boyfriend or girlfriend, but if that is to grow between two people, that will happen in the long run. Ultimately, when the energy is reciprocated, the Self will experience more peace.

Knowledge: This person is the one upon whom you rely to tell you accurate information. When you trust this source, the feeling of reliability and cooperation grow. These are folks you can turn to for information and insights about yourself that can shed light on some aspect within you that is causing you upset or confusion. They put situations in perspective and can assist you in making decisions. Like the love position person, this is someone who knows you well regardless of what you might believe about them.

Compassion: This person can assist you in taking a more objective view of yourself. Listening closely and having sympathy for your point of view are the hallmark characteristics of this person. These people are more likely to tell you the “hard truth’s” that they perceive that you are avoiding; especially if that avoidance is heading you into some kind of harm. Steady through good times and bad, this person will change very little relative to you. You know you can count on them, yet you may sometimes avoid them if you are doing something that counters your own good sense. These people are interested in you making your life work, not your excuses.

Mentor: Quite often a person who is older than you, but definitely has more life experience. Has components of both knowledge and compassion, but is interested in directing you on a path of self determination. Unlike the first three, this person might not be someone with whom you share a particularly close relationship. A college advisory, a senior co-worker, an elderly neighbor or a coach are but a few examples of this type of input. A person might not meet the individual but feel inspired by them through writings or other media. Authors of “how-to” books can fill this bill, but it is more satisfying and more accountable to actually have a real encounter with a live person.

Discipline: This position supports the individual by directly imposing order you’re your life. Sometimes, giving you someone to conform to or rebel against. However, they can also be strategic person in assisting you in learning to scrutinize your options. Discipline people remind you of your agreements to yourself and to others. Life coaches and sports coaches, financial planners, personal trainers, drill sergeants, and teachers, can all fit this bill. It will be a tough road for anyone who puts a spouse in this position. Ironically, a literal infant or small child can shock a new parent into the reality of scheduling just about as well as a boss. Discipline will assist the person in working on Discrimination and Power issues, while helping on to confront any of the Chief features.

Anchor: A person, but sometimes a place, the Anchor positions acts as a grounding rod for a person. As the word implies, without an anchor, you will tend to believe there is no “safe haven” for you. Your animal self will rarely have the safety to release vigilance and truly rest. When being an anchor for someone else, you will note that it your native temperament and space that you create, as contrasted to something “special” you do, that is the elixir.

Beauty: The source of all appreciation is to see the beauty and perfection in your Soloverse©. This person is the one that can inspire the sigh of inspiration from you. When in a funk, the beauty position person reminds you of what is beautiful and that person might be physically appealing in great measure to you. In this position, it is possible that an abstraction like: art or nature can inhabit this place. Yet, it is often the person whom you associate that with, which is likely to hold that position.

Child: Like all that are young, there are times in which we might feel inspired by innocence, dogged by responsibility, annoyed by bratty behavior and suffused with a sense of having to act like a disciplinarian. This position causes us to be in the role of parent. Indeed, when we ourselves are in someone else’s Child position, they might very well act in a condescending or care-taking way toward us. Thus making our experience of someone who we do child for like a parent to us. As the idea implies, this dyad is more often than not likely to be an actual child or younger person.

Parent: Someone who ultimately makes you feel nurtured, protected, henpecked or who cares about how you look. This position acts in tandem with the child. The Parent might look like a Mentor , but usually the parent is more invested in the way that you do things. Often, the parent and child combo team up to appear in a dominant/submissive monad or a profligate temperate monad.

Humor: If you can not laugh life will feel like drudgery. If you cannot laugh at yourself, then you will be so serious that everything you do or feel will invite criticism and set you up for resentment of others. The person acting in this role can be a professional humorist like a storyteller or comedian. But it can also be the person that assists you in being able to see the lighter side of things. If you are humor for someone else, they might say something, like “God, you always make me feel better.” Or, “you are so funny, I love the way that you make me laugh.” Any role can be a humor position. The person does not have to be zany or deliberately mirthful they merely must make you laugh.

Healer: Our animal self is subject to sickness and injury. Such conditions cause us to feel weakened and vulnerable. Here comes the healer to the rescue! But the emotions and spirit are also subject to shocks, traumas and distress. Hence, a healer is anyone who is skilled (often professionally trained) is administering aid to the ailing or wounded. Because such events can leave scars, the healer often gives counsel or guidance as to how to cope with the effects of the event. Thus, the healer can take us to new heights of understanding about the blows we suffer, or merely make us feel better about things. In the latter case, anyone who causes us to feel relief can act as our healer. In either case, after a dose of the healer’s medicinal presence one is likely to utter, “ah, now that is just what the doctor ordered.”

Enlightenment: The “ah-ha” experience is one we call can relate to. So is that moment of pure flow when everything around us “clicks” as if in precise syncopation with the Universe. These experiences when triggered by being in the presence of this person or their words. To be released from illusion or entering a moment of pure peace or understanding as a result of the words or actions done by this person. Teachers and their philosophies or belief systems that can lead a person to liberation of the mundane viewpoint to a higher more omnipotent perspective compel us to “lighten” the density or limitation of our daily considerations. Such is the process of Enlightenment. It is a dynamic experience that ebbs and flows allowing us to expand who we are. By definition, this position is aimed at the spiritual or religious experience of human existence.

Muse: The focal point or example of what we hold as inspirational and the motivating ideal that can be represented by a person, a philosophy, an ideal, or the representation of an accomplishment. Generally, the life task is reflected for the person by the type of muse they hold. Artists and musicians might see da Vinci or .Mozart as the figure of aspiration. Others hold heroes of political or sports origins like: JFK, Martin Luther King, Mohandas Gandhi, Michael Jordan, Babe Ruth, or Martina Navratilova. Frank Lloyd Wright’s buildings or architecture itself can be a Muse for some. To ascertain your Muse, attempt to narrow down the thing that can most intrigue you and hold constant interest whenever the person or subject arises. A few strategic questions will clarify which is the object of your Muse, the person or the outcome of that persons life, skill, or accomplishment.

Further Considerations about Support

As a spirit, support is all around you. As a personality, the Ego defenses might keep such tight reign upon you as to not recognize or allow it into your world. There is nothing that any one of these relationships need “do” for you. But rather, it is the knowledge of their presence and access to their energy that empowers an individual to progress. Indeed, while highly unlikely that a person can or will fill all of these sources for themselves, or by themselves, it is the freedom and security of having a fall back support that provides a strengthening and maturing of oneself. Contrasting this with two other extremes: complete dependency upon others and the loneliness and burden that some feel having “to do it all themselves”. It should be made clear that support is not using someone. Real support can only be given and therefore received. Attempting to label the act of manipulated fleecing of someone’s else’s energy “support” is a bit like calling a car jacking a Sunday drive. While spiritual lessons can be hard, and sometimes pretense is deliberately used as a tool; lying, deceit, conquest, and subjugation ARE NOT FORMS OF SUPPORT! Spiritual or otherwise.

Though this article is aimed at reminding you to get the support you need. Flip it over, and you are being asked to identify where you fill a support position in some other person’s life?! Learning the significance you play in the lives of others and hence the behaviors that would enhance the potency of your contact with them, is a poignant use of the support positions concept. For being a kind and useful support to someone else is equally as necessary and potentially nourishing to our personal health, social responsibility, and gaining of maturity for oneself. These exchanges culminate with growth for the Essence.

Simplified, the giving and receiving of support boils down to what the Beatles said in the song “The End”, from the Abbey Roads recording:

And in the end…

The Love you take,

Is equal to,

The Love…you make!

by Stephen Cocconi © 2011-2012